In other words...

"Satan's ultimate lie is that you are capable of being the god of your own life, and his ultimate bondage is getting you to live as though his lie is truth."
~ Neil Anderson ~

Surrender. Nine little unassuming letters which have, beaten me down. I can do conditional surrender--"God, I know this should be turned over to You, but perhaps I can keep a little for myself?" However, it is unconditional surrender which He demands. All is His. Every last struggle, every tear; every triumph, too. None of this is mine. What is it that is so important that I cannot let go of control?

I have always been a stubborn thing. I really didn't stand a chance, coming from a long line of determined people. When I was young, the rule at dinner was eat it now, or have it for breakfast. Pretty simple guideline, I would say. I can't tell you how many times I had warmed over turkey soup for breakfast. Turkey soup in the evening may have been drudgery enough, but it was worse in the morning. And you know, I ended up eating it. Every time.

How often do I still hold out? How many times will I sit and eat warmed over conflicts before I realize that turning them over immediately is a far better response? As I grow in Him and mature, I do find that I am better able (but not there by a long shot) to surrender. My prayer continues to be, "Lord, please help me let this go."

The enemy tries to convince me that I won't have to eat that soup, if I can just hold out long enough. God wants me to get through that soup while it is still hot and fresh, because there is chocolate cake for dessert.