Who is this woman?
Jon and I have been married just over four years. I wouldn't have thought I could grow too much, but thinking about Christine's questions helped me realize that I don't really know that girl anymore.
I was not exactly a kid when we married, but I was far from prepared to share my life and all that entails. I can remember our pre-marital counselor telling us that we "just made the cut" for age and success rates or something like that. At the time, I was probably rolling my eyes (on the inside)- I was twenty-seven years old, after all! My mother married at twenty, and my younger brother was making snarky comments about Jon maybe being my only chance. As far as I was concerned, I was getting long in the tooth.
Yeah, the age thing-- not really convinced that helps much. We were statistically old enough, but no more "ready" than anyone else. The funniest part is that, no matter what my expectations were, they were way off base. Whatever I thought about marriage, it pales in comparison to the reality.
Twenty-seven year old Kelly had no idea what was in store. She had not yet known the fear of leaving behind everything she knew to follow her husband into his dream. 2002 Kelly had not experienced the lows of not getting out of bed for days, or wondered if they would ever get their heads above water. But neither had she known the reassurance of a hand squeezing hers and a voice telling her that she was far from alone.
Four years have brought so many changes. I am far from the wife I should be, but with God's help and Jon's, I am making progress. I listen more and better; I let go more easily (a hard hard lesson); I pray more intentionally.
Is marriage what I expected? No, it is ever so much more. If this is what God can accomplish in us in four short years, the next thirty or so will blow my mind.
Comments
I love it that you said you let go more easily and pray more intentionally. I did NOT make that progress as early in my marriage as you have! God Bless You Both.
It's amazing how we can change in such a short amount of time. Marriage has been a series of refining moments for me and I'm grateful for every one. I agree with you that age itself doesn't really matter- it's more about how we turn ourselves to God in the midst of our marriages and turn away from what the media, society and other influences want us to believe. Thanks so much for participating!
My husband and I met on the internet back in 1998, me in OZ, he in Vegas.
It wasn't the "in" thing to do back then, everyone thought we were crazy.
Anyway, I read this blog and thought, I should answer these questions out loud for once.
I often think back to the woman I left behind in Australia. I say that because I am no longer her.
When I go back there, as much as I miss my family, friends and my country, I'm such a different person now and sometimes feel left out.
I guess when I left, I kind of thought in the back of my mind, things would stay the same, but life went on without me there.
Being in America, has completely changed things about me.
I'm so much more open to things, confident about myself and speak up when I need to. I never was that in Australia at all.
Regarding my marriage, I have to say, it's everything I thought it would be. Having been with someone prior for 10 years, and living together for 4 of those years before we broke up, marriage feels just the same to me.
Coming from a divorced family myself, I went into marriage, although loving my husband dearly, thinking, I have a way out if I need one.. DIVORCE.
The only thing, I can say now, 7 years on, is yes, that thought is still there, but I seem to want to work harder to NOT go that route.
We have both worked very hard to get where we are in life and in our marriage, and are now trying to start a family.
So yes, marriage changed me slightly, but I think, America changed me more.
Thanks for sharing. :)