Monday, February 05, 2007
Still Daddy's Girl?
"I long to worship Jesus with the heart of a child, in a state of pure and true adoration. Yet so many things of the world cloud my thoughts and pull on my heart until it's no longer just a girl in the arms of the Father"
When did everything become so complicated? When did I stop being able to freely respond to my father? Oh, it isn't that I don't love him, because I do. But somewhere along the way, I stopped running down the stairs shouting, "Daddy's home!" I was no longer clinging to his pant leg being dragged across the kitchen floor as he left for work. When was it that I stopped climbing into his lap or snuggling up next to him on the couch to share my day's adventures? Somewhere I closed off a part of me that used to be open to him.
I have done, of course, exactly what a healthy adult is supposed to do. With my dad. But have I done the same thing with my relationship with God? Have I lost somewhere the transparency, the sheer joy of being in His presence?
I live with some pretty distinct boundaries in my life. Certain acceptable parameters that are painfully attached to my personality. (Frankly, I am quite happy with eighty-five percent of them) Don't cross this line; don't even venture over there; stay within the markers. These guidelines serve me well, thankyouverymuch.
But boundaries don't serve God well. Not when I attempt to create boundaries in my relationship with Him. He defies every silly "rule" I make. Time and again, He reminds me of His sovereignty. Time and again, He will drive me to my knees. To Him.
My dad is no longer "the man" in my life; that chapter has been written. However, he taught me something important about a father's love and about Father's love: there are times in a girl's life when all she wants is to cry to her daddy. When I was a young girl, it was skinned knees; a few years later a broken heart. Now my cares may be greater- at least they seem so- but I only have to dry my eyes long enough to see Him with arms wide open.
Thank you to Iris, our gracious host this week.