"Look Ma, no hands!"

I put a bottle of wine in the fridge to chill. The trouble is, I am not sure if it is to celebrate a milestone, or to drown my sorrows. We have the ultimate mixed blessing on our hands.

J has quit his day job. There, I said it. Actually, I wrote it, and I have been practicing saying it. I don't choke over the words anymore. However, I do still tremble at the thought.

It isn't like this is completely out of the blue. After all, we moved out here almost two and one-half years ago. And this WAS our ultimate goal. I just wasn't ready for this quite yet. I don't know if I would have ever BEEN ready, though.

J was ready. More than ready. He finds this exhilarating. I find it terrifying. Together we are fine. Alone, I am a wreck. Right know, I am alone. Wrecked.

He is getting work as a audio tech for conventions and tv shoots. So he will not just be at home being a house husband, but the jobs come in fits and starts. He'll go several weeks without a day off, and then maybe several weeks with nothing. In fact, he is at some WSOP event today. His days are long, which wears more on the weekends. He left at 6:30 this morning, and I don't know how long he'll be gone.

However, he will be home later, and I will be reassured. And we will more than likely-- no, make that absolutely-- be fine. The world will not end, and even if my irrational parts are in charge right now, they will not be later.

So I think I am going to go make my salad and have a glass of wine. In celebration of this milestone.

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