Mom used to tell me that sympathy was found in the dictionary...

This morning, I was worrying aloud about master cleanse, which I begin tonight. My loving, supportive husband was really being so kind about everything, reassuring me and the like.


J: Honey, I was wondering, since you are taking this on...
Me: Yes? (thinking he would offer to do the cleanse with me)
J: Would you like to sleep on my side of the bed? It is closer to the bathroom, afterall!


The entire saying, as per my mum is, "You can find sympathy in the dictionary-- between s%^t and turd."


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