To whom it may concern:

Good morning, it is I, the woman whose broadband access you have been enjoying. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind. Mi casa su casa and all that. Recently, however, your use has had a detrimental effect on my VOIP phone service. Truly, I was shocked and dismayed to discover that my wireless connection is unsecured. We programmed a password when we set up the network, after all.

I wanted to do you the courtesy of warning you that your free-surfing days are numbered. As soon as I get some free time and some know-how, I will be locking you out. In the meantime, please understand that I will be turning my router off when I am not using it. I apologise for any inconvenience this may cause you, though I don't know why I should even care.

If you call Cox Cable, they will be more than happy to hook you up with your own cable internet connection, and you will no longer need to pirate mine.

Happy Surfing!

Your Neighbor


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